The Submissive Jesus / "Don't Kill Me" Canon

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The satire site Avant News clarifies morality for us: "Right Clarifies Moral Confusion With Don't Kill Me Canon".

The "Don't Kill Me" Canon reads: "It is morally acceptable to kill anyone who can expressly state 'Don't kill me'. In all other cases, it is not morally acceptable."
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"Most of the people on death row plead innocent, file appeals, explicitly state 'Please don't kill me', or other things along those lines. So as I see it, the Canon very clearly rules that it's morally correct for the government to kill them."

"On the other hand," Mr. Frist continued, "someone like a terminally ill patient who is in terrible pain, has zero chance of recovery, and who is begging his doctors, friends and family to put him out of his misery are out of bounds. That person is saying 'Please kill me', not 'Don't kill me'. And we as a government have to do everything in our power to keep that person alive, even if they're already clinically dead like Terry Schiavo."